Alexander Lawrence Morales 11/23/11

I had a horrible reaction to the meds! Notice my whole face covered in hives...very irritating!

aunt Brin came out to visit-LOVED having her home. (not to mention LOVE the massages...)

Gma Joy

Gpa Lanny

Proud Papa

Cielo's first time getting to hold him

Graci's first time holding him

the Kay's came to visit over Thanksgiving-fun to have a quick visit with them.

My Post Traumatic Stress Disorder :)

I'm not as crazy as I may sound. I have good reason to fear a C-Section. First of all, it's in my blood to become a Rx/drug abuser and a C-Section requires pain meds. (I never even fill my meds after delivery because I'm so scared of becoming dependent-once I had a few doses of Tylenol3 because of a blinding headache at the hospital when I was severely dehydrated after delivery but I didn't have any medicines stronger than the normal Tylenol at home. I'm even allergic to Ibuprofen so that never stays at my house either) Which is also a very strong reason why I love the essential oils so much. No dependency risks.

Second, I have a horrifying memory of when Jace and Trevor were born via C-Section. Skipping too many of the details, I remember going to clogging one day while my mom was still in the hospital, (she was there a LONG time) getting told "I didn't think you'd be here today." I said why and the dork said, "well, cuz I heard your mom died this morning!" I FREAKED OUT, ran next door to my dads photo shop, and my grandma called out to UVRMC (she was sent to Provo after it got too bad for the locals) to have me talk to her to prove to me that she didn't die but she was hooked up to so many machines and tubes that she couldn't talk-it just sounded like Darth Vader breathing into the phone so my aunt got on to comfort me and tell me that she really was alive and sitting right next to her. Well, how could I be sure? I didn't get to hear her tell me that. I was too young to go into ICU so it wasn't like it would benefit me to go out with my dad to see her...it was a mess.

I dread not being home for Christmas- my mom was smart enough to have Christmas completely ready before she even had the twins so it could have been alot worse but it still was horrible not having her home for the holidays.

I remember her lying on the couch when she finally came home the first time, too weak to move, and I'd get home from school and go up to her and make sure she was still breathing...that the IV's were still dripping right...she was never even left alone though, my grandmas were always there-the Relief Society took turns rocking babies-home health nurses constantly-I was just so scared. Then one night she got rushed away again. The staff infection was so close to her heart. And we're motherless again. Yeah, my gma lived right down the street so it was easy enough to adjust. We had the same bus driver. The same neighborhood friends-but I needed my mom.

I'm drama, I know. But I'm a little nervous about a C-Section.

Sticks & Stones...

Words are hurtful.....

So today on my way home from my rescheduled Dr.'s apt that I drove clear to Roosevelt before AT&T decided to let my calls come through so that I could get the message that my apt had been rescheduled-I decided to make a stop at a new thrift store I had never been to. The owner asked me when I'm due-I told her 3 weeks-she asked if it was my 1st-I told her it's my 3rd-she says without hesitation, "3rd and a vasectomy I hope!" I don't even know you. Jerk.

When I was pregnant with Graci, a person I know had a pretty rough miscarriage-I was less than 2 months away from giving birth and I was told to "walk on egg shells" and  "be extra sensitive about anything baby around her" Ok...I understand...I had a miscarriage. I remember what it felt like to watch everyone else have babies so I was to the point that Yeah-it's my turn to have my baby! But apparently I can only be happy in the privacy of my own home-or as long as my happiness doesn't offend someone who might be sad...

So then-when it was this said persons turn to have a baby everyone's all "yeah-it's been so hard for them! Be extra exited they've waited so long" so we were so happy for them and everything-honestly happy for them. Why couldn't I be happy when it was my turn? Do I rub my 9 month pregnant belly in your face to the point that I had to be warned about offending you? Have I ever been so self consumed to make anyone feel horrible by just looking at me?

Then I am pregnant with Cielo-hoping to share our happy news with relatives-when I make a call to a certain person whose reaction was, "Don't you know what causes that? I'd like to say congratulations, but seriously, I think that was just irresponsible." She goes on to tell me that "IUD's are extremely effective" and I should "probably look into that option before this happens again" To this day I have vowed that my children will never inconvenience this person as long as I'm living...

Many other comments and opinions have been shared over the years that I really think had some influence on me and why it took me so long to be okay with the idea of having another baby, but I got actual confirmation in the temple that we needed to have this baby so I decided that I should probably stop worrying about what other people think  and do what was best for our family.

So just as I was about ready to make our announcement about this baby we get the horrible news of another miscarriage in a family close to us. How am I supposed to say, "I'm so sorry for your loss but I'm due in November?" of course we were hesitant to tell for fear of offending or hurting them. Then when it can't be hidden anymore, people said, "Why did you wait so long to say anything? It seems like you're ashamed or something? Usually people are happy to make this announcement" Yeah, I'd love to be happy about my announcements-it jsut seems that every time the timing is so off for everyone else that I jsut have to slip under the radar.

Fast forward to last week...36.5 weeks pregnant I get asked (by a relative)  if "the Dr has told me what's wrong with my baby yet" and "don't worry because our names have been submitted to all the temples he/she could get a hold of" Seems to me you are hoping something will go wrong or hoping that you will be able to swoop in and save the day...whatev...

Then I get told that the bumper sticker post on FB was NOT directed toward me or my family situation. (bumper sticker read IF YOU CAN'T FEED THEM-DON'T BREAD THEM) Thanks, but I didn't think a person that I have talked to maybe twice over the past year was thinking of me when they posted that-until you brought it up at least...

So call me a bit frustrated, or slightly down in the dumps but honestly! I was even told-point blank and out of the blue-"don't regret this baby, you'll make it work you'll just have to make sacrifices other places cuz it's too late to turn back now"

Just because my situation isn't ideal in your eyes, doesn't mean it's horrible. Just because you have landscaping and a new car doesn't mean my kids are suffering. I'm stinking sick of standing around listening to all you have to say about my life and then having a nervous breakdown after the 100th comment that finally hits me wrong. I'm tired of people comparing me. I'm exhausted actually. and not even surprised when something doesn't go as planned. My perma grin has faded and I don't even care.

And when someone gets sick at our house-it escalates to the highest degree of sick in less than 24 hours. For example...Edgar had a slight sore throat leaving for work-comes home with a severe sinus infection that has torn into tissues and he was bleeding through his nose, ears and throat. Urgent care bill and horse pill prescription costs later he was on the mend.

Cielo complained of an ear infection and was quickly admitted into the hospital for pneumonia and stayed 3 days before the breathing treatments and steroids could be controlled at home. Hospital charges on top of prescriptions, pediatrician costs and tests we will be paying that off for 3 years.

Graci started snoring and couldn't breathe during the night the same time that Cielo had a horrible allergic reaction and I took them both into the ear-nose-throat Dr...Graci was then scheduled for a tonsillectomy for the following surgery day and Cielo was tested and is severely allergic to 28 different local allergens. Dr. said he had never seen tonsils that size in a girl that small. Cielo's allergy treatment plan stopped being covered by the insurance the Monday before she was seen. At least we didn't start the 6 month treatment plan before and then get the surprise $400 per month bill...

Graci had a stomach ache and within the hour was in x-ray for an obstructed bowel.

Cielo has a tiny skin tag on her elbow-2 days later it's the size of a pea and so sore that she doesn't want a shirt to touch it.

Edgar now has blisters in his eyes...the eye drops he's been on can only be used for a certain amount of time and his time is almost over so now the Dr. has to decide what to do next because that special drop should have taken care of it.

I try to save money by making my own laundry soap-all my whites now have grey spots on them. The dishwasher soap was ruined. I cancel all of our extra crap. At what point is enough enough? I hate to even think about saying, "what next?" It reminds me of The Little Rascals when Alfalfa says "Things couldn't get any worse. Then the clouds open up and God says, I hate you Alfalfa..."

Graci sings "all I want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth" Cielo sings "all I want for Christmas is my spacer back in" The spacer that was put in at Primary Children's. So literally, we have a bill (or 4) at every hospital, clinic, Dr's office or medical building from here to Salt Lake.We pay a monthly mortgage and monthly minimum medical bills totaling a mortgage. How can I even think about an end in sight with the year we have had? How are we ever going to get on top?

Maybe I put off buying a few needed baby items but how do you decide who gets their medicines this month? or who's ailments are important enough to be seen by the Dr.? I'm just saying...

I'm over it.  FYI the words are more hurtful than the sticks and stones you could be throwing.

And Shaylah and Andrea-thanks for reading! This nervous breakdown was quickly cured by some halloween chocolate-so I'm fine now.

DISHWASHER SOAP UPDATE

I do not love the dishwasher soap that I made. Maybe I did something wrong-I don't really know how I can mix dry ingredients wrong-but within a week the mixture was hard as a rock and I had to chisel it out.....I'm going to look into it further and see if others have had the same luck that I had and see what they did to change it but I don't currently have a recommendation for an effective dishwasher soap.

THE LAUNDRY SOAP IS AMAZING THOUGH!!!! A FRIEND AND HER MOM HAVE DONE THE MATH AND IT IS ABOUT 1-2 CENTS PER LOAD COMPARED TO THE STORE BOUGHT KINDS THAT ARE ABOUT 25 CENTS A LOAD....WAY WORTH IT!!!!!

Pinterest

I can cross 3 things off of my pinterest "to-do" list! Yesterday I made laundry soap, dishwasher soap and a huge batch of the yummiest roasted salsa! I'm so excited about the soaps that I'm documenting it so I know exactly how long a batch will last me and how much $$ it cost. Hopefully it is going to be a huge money saver... so here's the link in case you are interested. http://beingcreativetokeepmysanity.blogspot.com/search/label/Homemade%20soap (I'm so computer illiterate that I can't figure out how to do an actual cute simple link like the rest of you do...one day though)

Also, I fired the tooth-fairy. Second time she's left the tooth/spacer out for the girls to find. (Actually the spacer was in the garbage can, it just so happened that was the ONLY thing in the garbage can so when Graci threw her napkin away she saw it...this time the tooth was left on the freaking counter.) Graci was so excited though-she said, "yeah, the tooth fairy remembered that I wanted to see my tooth again! I bet she was really dizzy from flying so her eyes were silly and she dropped it on the counter-or maybe it was so late in the midnight that she was tired and forgot it." I'm going to have to agree on the so late in the midnight that she forgot it........

$ Ideas

In an attempt to become completely debt free due to an overwhelming new load of medical bills and with the baby coming in 13 short weeks adding more expenses that we aren't currently used to paying, we need any and all ideas to save money. We have already cut out satellite, phone line, downed our cell phone plan, changed garbage service to the cheapest provider I could find, don't water as much, turned the a/c to 76* (Edgar might move out for this one :), plan our drives better to save gas, use coupons, stopped eating out (except for very rare occasions), sold Edgar's truck, changed our car insurance plan and use a discount thru E's work, and changed our internet provider. (I still have to submit assignments via internet-but I guess I could completely cancel it, and just go to someone else's house.) So if anybody has ideas for us please feel free to tell me-I take constructive criticism very well. :) Point out my poor $ choices and help me save!

some quick hilights of Mexico July 2011

Waiting for our turn to board.

Cielo waiting at Mercado(?sp) She looks so much like Darla from the Little Rascals in this pic to me...and she was acting a bit Darla-ish, too! It was cute!

Zoo

Zoo

Face painting. and yes, they are in long sleeves in Mexico-they were cold and wet because it never stopped raining!

not the best pic of us but this was on the street when we were trying to get a taxi back to Las Aguiles and we got stuck in a downpour and none of the taxi's would stop and the ones that did were trying to charge us triple because I looked like a tourist. We finally found one that was nice though.

Climbing the only tree around the bright colored neighborhood we were visiting.

Teotihuacan Pyramids-way too many stairs for me, but really cool anyways.

Edgar's cousin Julio's wedding celebration.

The beach near Acapulco...
Maybe I'll get around to more detailed trip stories but for now-ENJOY!

Day #4

Too many bad habits-can't narrow it down to just one. :o( jk, I don't know...this is a dumb one. I'll get back to you.

Day #3 Me Jana and Amie

This is a picture of us at Girls Camp this summer...I was SOOOOO sick this day! But these ladies are two very close friends that I've made and they are the best! The whole week Amie had to listen to me referring to her as "Beuhler...Beuhler...anyone..." and if you've ever driven with Cielo you'll notice that every white Expedition that passes she says, "Jana Peppa' (pepper), she's my favorite, that Jana Peppa"

Fun times had by all...

Day #2

The meaning behind my blog name. It used to be La Familia Morales (the Morales Family in Spanish) then I got sick of it and changed it back to The Morales Family because thats us! Plain and simple!

recent pic of me & 15 interesting facts...

Wow I'm horrible at updating. Anywho, with that being said here's Day One....this is the most recent picture of me (that I have downloaded) & 15 intersting (?) facts.

hmmm, well

1.I have a thing with odd numbers (hate 'em-they make me physically nervous)

2.Movie theaters scare me, seriously how many people have sat in those chairs with nasty sweaty discusting bodies and leaned their sick greasy lice infested head on the seat....yuck.

3.I have an obsession with notebooks, writing utensils and list making.

4.I'm trying to dial down the "crazy lady" image so now I'll just state normal things.

5.I think this is a huge waste of time but I'm trying to enjoy it while the girls are asleep.

6.my girls are asleep @ 7:15 PM...anybody want them when they can't go to sleep tonight? :)

7.i want to sign up for a marathon or a 5K or something. actually, I'll probably just sign up for a quick jaunt to the mail box and call it a day.

8.I WILL decorate my girls' bedroom (homeade quilts, repaint, etc...) before their birthdays-that's like 4 months away, I should be able to do it by then.

9.I want long locks asap.

10.i can understand Spanigh well enough to follow conversations without help from my hunky translator but

11.I FREAK OUT when I try to say anything in spanish cuz I get all nervous and stuff.

12.My mom is my best friend. Seriously.

13. I still get butterflies when Edgar comes home or even calls.

14. I'm embarrassed that I said that but he just called.

15. I don't think I'm responsible enough to be married, be a mom, own a home, have a job, pretty much all the responsibilities that come with being an adult....but I LOVE every minute of it all and I wouldn't trade any of it for anything.

30 day challenge

I'm stealing this from my friend Becca's cute blog...& I'm going to try to stick to it for a month! We'll see right?
Oh yeah, I've got a lot "in the works" with some goals and such, so look forward to this becoming a rockin' blog asap! (gag me-i'm so lame)

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you and your friends
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been to
day 6- favorite super hero and why
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
day 11- another picture of you and your friends
day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one
day 13- a letter to someone
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- another picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them
day 20- someone you love
day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave for a lot
day 24- your last five facebook status'
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- what do you think about your friends
day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge
day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
day 29- in this past month, what have you learned
day 30- your favorite song

2011 Aspirations (barely posting them)

Some things I genuinly want to accomplish during the year 2011 (in no particular order) will be mentioned in this post. If you think they are dumb, weird, a waste of time or whatever else they might be to someone else, they are of great importance to me and I want them documented so that I will be held accountable for them. If you have positive reinforcement for me then feel free to let me know, otherwise I don't want to hear it.

1. get a good quality set of knives and at least the basics of a good set of pots & pans-I'm tired of our crappy knives and I'm really sick of only having one size of pot to work with. Don't even get me started on our pan (yes, we only have one)

2. set a family budget and STICK TO IT!!!!

~subsection of #2....pay down the mortgage as much as possible!

~get completely out of debt otherwise

~get a cushion in savings

3. get something accomplished in the yard (aim low, avoid disappointment-anything that gets done will be better than last year....not gonna get too specific on this one) and also recent events have made me very bitter about this so I'm just going to drop it cuz I know we are doing our best.

4. get our food storage in order!! food, toilet paper, other household items...etc...and get it good!

5. pay off $15k medical bills

6. plan & paint the girls room, master bed and bath, and at least an accent wall of the dining/kitchen/frontroom area but preferrably rid my whole house of the oatmeal color before I become depressed.

7. get the girls into swimming and dance lessons