latest rantings

Just when I think I should work full time, I get my mind changed for me :) and now only work 2 days a week, & I'm still the floater...which lead me to think another baby might be in store....which got me released from YW :( and put in as the trek specialist...can't be a prego trek leader...pretty sure it all boils down to, if I think it, it will most likely be the opposite. FYI.


and Christmas is canceled at our house, due to my 3 year old disaster on legs... Don't watch Ramona & Beezus with influential children that would find it funny to squirt an entire tube of toothpaste in the sink....but seriously, that's nothing compared to the tantrum in Wal-Mart today. Let's just say I was one snot rocket away from sending Cielo home with the next person that walked by saying, "isn't she cute? just remember you'll look back and laugh at this one day!" The lady in line in front of us even said, "I have one too, and if he would have been first, he would have been last...is she your youngest?" Hush woman, I'm obviously not in the mood for people telling me my kid is out of control...I'm well aware of it.

Father's Day

What an amazing husband, father and friend! No one knows me better, loves me as much or could be a better father and friend than Edgar! We love you so much!!!!

Nauvoo!

What a fun weekend that was! I'm so glad a was able to go be with the Pulsipher's for their big day-I definately want to make it back to Nauvoo with my little family-I feel like there was too much to do with so little time, but the stuff I was able to tour and see was amazing!

Memorial Day & Birthdays

Twinners-aunt Robyn and Cielo at the cemetary-we had a great time with the fam! Love ya'll bunches!

The girls got NEW BIKES for their b-day's and the L-O-V-E them! I also love how exhausted they get riding around all day!

Some random thoughts

I was blog hopping and my friend had updated with random thoughts as they popped into her head. I want to try the same thing cause I like to look back on our blog but most of the time I only bog about big things and not the everyday stuff so read on if you want to.

1. I want to go snuggle baby Bransyn again. Cute little guy-and I'm glad he lives so close so that I'll be able to squish him lots!
2. I REALLY want to meet baby Tayven and I hear rumor that I might get to snuggle him next week... all my extrimities are crossed that that will actually happen!!!
3. gotta get my baby fix from all the sisters and in-laws cuz we all know that we will not have anymore children until 2015...if even that soon.
4. people think I'm kidding when I say we have to wait that long....I am as serious as a heart attack!
5. I wish I had energy to get off my bum and get something done on my day off.
6. I hate that I feel trapped in my own home, but I'm glad that our neighborhood is now safer and perhaps since it's such a nice day I should go for a walk.
7. my stomach is still churning from this morning when I saw a dog get run over and flip and flop like a dead fish-I'm just glad I wasn't the one that hit him cuz the owner was FREAKING out.
8. some people make me mad and i hate that some people have so much control over my emotions
9. I am SO EXCITED to go to Nauvoo to be with my bestie for her big day!!! (totally love that my travel buddy is also my bestie and totally bummed that Edgar can't go but also WAY excited to have 4 nights of un-interupted sleep.)
10. probably won't sleep good cuz it's been so long since I have been a night without the girls-wait have I ever left both girls over night? I know for sure I haven't been 4 nights without them.
11. Good luck Mom-Brin-Jace&Trev...I'll be praying for you! Hope the girls are good while I'm gone!
12. Hope the girls want to come home to me when I get home :) it's even hard to get them to come home from Grandma Nellie after just a date with my handsome hubby
13. Really glad I found Edgar---I heart you the most babe!
14. VERY greatful for recieving the promptings the other day-very greatful to have been smart (or scared) enough to listen, VERY greatful things didn't get serious and VERY greatful for sweet friends that knew to show up when they did.
15. my whole week was full of perfect timing on others parts and the long talks with the two of you that have helped put things into perspective is greatly appreciated. Don't know how it will turn out but at least I know I did my best.
16. SO SO SO excited for GIRLS CAMP-BABY!!!!!!!!!!
and finally, shouldn't be blogging cuz I have a Joint YW activity needing planned and have NO ideas!!!!!! any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!

Today

......trying to figure out how things are going to work, reminding myself of all the very distinct answers we have recieved and at the same time remembering that fear and faith CANNOT coexist.......so I've decided to chose Faith. I think that it is an actual choice and I can't afford to waste all my time worrying and being afraid of what we're going to do, I just have to do my very best and let the consequences follow.
...For Now...
My kids are healthy...
we both have jobs...
we have a home....
we have each other...

What doesn't kill us will only make us stronger.......pretty sure we'll have super powers when this is over but how great will that be when we are strong enough to face the next trial headed our way. Everytime I think of the calming answer I recieved the other day, it is followed by the seriousness of assurance that this is only preparing us for what is to come.

We can handle it, we can get through it, and we will be okay.

Two of my greatest blessings call me MOM.

The girls.......

I'm pretty lucky...to be able to help raise these sweet girls (looks can be decieving) and cuz Graci only told me she was going to call the police twice today! (When she gets mad at me she either prays for Grandma Nellie to come save her or she threatens me that she's gonig to call the police. FYI-both times she was mad enough at me today involved chocolate or not letting her stick her hands out of the car window driving down main street-so it's obvious I was the one needing straightened out-what kind of mom says no to chocolate for breakfast?) Anyways, on a side note my new favorite Graci saying ..."Can I get a thumbs up?" or "How about bowf-a-dem?" (both of them)

Soccer Practice

Good thing the girls love to play rough with their Daddy or I think Edgar might even be more baby hungry for a boy than he already is. (if that's even possible) Check out Graci's kick...that's my uncoordinated ballerina drama queen right there-after she kicked it she even did a victory dance. It was so funny!

Going Private....

please leave your email address if you want an invite to our blog as it will be going private very shortly... I have it set so the comments are not visible to the readers so even if you are just a friend of a friend but you still want access to our blog then please feel free to comment and I'll send the invite as soon as I'm ready for it to be private. Thanks!

My latest wake up call(s)

I'm thinking this is going to be more of an updated New Year's Resolution post since it's only February 21st and I have FAILED at all previosly attempted goals-

1-stop making fun of horrific hair during sacrament meeting or else the trays actually get taken from you BEFORE partaking of the sacrament 4-yes, FOUR times I had to fight for my portion... :) (I know the sweet kid didn't mean to rip it out from under me each time, it just really got to the point that my friend and I both said maybe I shouldn't be taking it this week...but the real kicker was that when I relayed the incident to Edgar-who was kind enough to stay home with our sick kids-the first thing he said was, "probably cuz you were making fun of ___'s hair again!" (I didn't even have to tell him that part-he knows me too well) So here's another new leaf getting turned, If I find myself sitting next to/near/behind/pretty much anywhere around or getting distracted by ____'s hair-either relocate to allow my wondering mind to focus or look down. That's all I'm going to say about that.

2-I've been in a weightloss support group :) and I'm not gonna lie, I've gained about 8 pounds since joining...nobody's fault but my own, so now I'm owning up to it and hopefully I won't put my health and weight issues off any longer, especially until NEXT January 1st...which brings me to #3...

3-Seriously? Did anyone die starting a diet on an odd numbered day? Or how bout an even # Monday, Wednesday or Friday which in my mind is an odd day of the week? Or having to gain a pound so that the "official records" of my weightloss expirience show that I was an even number when I started my actual diet? (One might ask, why not lose the pound to make it an even number? That would mean my diet had already started when in reality I was already at an odd number so it couldn't officially start until it was even...and on an even # Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday to boot-which always seems to throw me for a loop....would have to be my logical response, and that is because my OCD is actually killing me. I am admitting it and I know that these are only a few of the very weird problems that I need to find a way to overcome - and please don't even get me started with times! Why else would I be blogging at 11:29PM if it didn't have something to do with both sides of the digital clock being equal...........

4-I need to take the time to appreciate things around me- I'm sorry, but 2010 has sucked somethin' serious so far and I'm not even jsut being dramatic. Whatever happens will happen for a reason and I honestly didn't believe that until recently when I had to swallow some pride and be humbled up a bit.

5-Nobody has better friends than mine-and I bet they don't even know that I appreciate their friendship cuz I've been so hung up on my own crap that I've neglected telling them. My poor husband has put up with too much of my mood swings lately and I couldn't love him more, especially since he's really the main reason I didn't fall completely off the deep end :) But all I can say is I'm glad Edgar and my sweet friends are in tune enough to listen and know that I needed someone to talk to even before I knew what I needed. Which brings me to another issue:

6-grow up! get over whatever it is that is holding me back and keeping me from doing what needs to be done. I don't know how to go into detail about this one without becoming too emotional because it spans over so many areas to me, and I just seriously feel like I'm in a rut! I finally get released from nursury only to find out that I am truly not needed anywhere else in the ward. Not that I'm asking for a huge calling, I'm just saying I'm available and willing to do the calling I am in, just obviously not needed. I can't help but blame myself for our familis luck (I will not elaborate on this one) but I have NO IDEA how to change things and move on so it seems I jsut tread water to keep floating but really I'm just slowly drowning. I know everyone has their trials and mine could be a lot worse so I'm very greatful for my chance to get whatever lesson I'm supposed to get out of this one and move on with life! It doesn't matter how often I pray for understanding, it seems one more hurdle gets put in front of me and I trip. I am the perfect example of "one step forward, two steps back" and I'm hoping that if I reset my life a little I'll be able to make some sense of it all and make progress and in a FORWARD direction.

I am going to assume that if you've read this far into this long post, you are a willing to support me as I attempt to make some changes.....

Sickies

So, last Sunday, Graci threw up a few times. Then she was fine until Thursday when she started holding her stomach and folding over in pain. I just figured she was dehydrated or something and finally decided when she had bloody pee (tmi) to take her into the doctor. They tested things and decided she just needed an anti-naseau medicine and sent us on our way. The next day, she got progressively worse, and they took a second look at things and decided it was a bladder infection-gave us meds for that and sent us on our way. The nights are miserable-she's only comfortable when she's folded in half and then wakes up in a rage because her legs are asleep. I attempted to work today but she just got worse as the day went on and Gma Marj was wonderful and stayed with Cielo while I took Graci back a third time to a different doctor. This time we got blood tests, and other testing to make sure she wasn't having a severe problem with bowels or appendicitis or something and it turns out she was having an allergic reaction to the sulfur in the antibiotic from yesterday causing stomach cramping. So hopefully now she will be cured but don't these pic's just break your heart? This bottom one was today. She said she wanted to be a princess, but on a dress, sparkle shoes, and a necklace and then fell over like that crying.

Who needs pockets

Improvising

the before and after

Cielo was VERY excite to get her hair cut and it sure needed it. It looks so much thicker now. Yes, I cut it with huge fabric shears, too! (way too spur of the moment and have all my hair stuff at work.) She kept saying, "careful mom, careful."

Christmas with the Martin side

Aunt Michelle and Uncle Shawn were so great to invite us to stay with them. The girls had a ball playing dressups and Cielo couldn't get enough of the dog! It was hysterical-she would follow her around and laugh non stop.

Ivy's cute princess dress doesn't fit through the door of her castle-but what a stinkin' cute hoop skirt it was!

and most of the neice/nephew/cousins put on the Christmas Story for us and here we have the beautiful angels.